The End

(The last photo I took of Titan)

You left us on a Thursday at 3:49 pm.  That is the exact moment a part of my heart died and I knew life would never be the same.

The day we first met I also knew my life would never be the same. That day was back in April of 2012.  We first saw your photo online and that cute little face had me falling in love immediately.

I knew we just had to meet you and it didn't take long for me to talk your dad into it.  We drove 2 hours just to meet you.  That same day I had a headache and I was sick for most of the drive up but I didn't want to put our meet off in case someone else also wanted to take you home.  When we got to the house we came into the living room and that is when we first laid eyes on you.  So small and so cute!  Out of your whole litter you were the only one who came and lay a paw on my knee.  You seemed to be saying "Are you ok?"  That moment I knew you and I were ment to be together.

A few short weeks later you were ready to start your journey home with us and you were such a brave boy!

You slept most of the car ride back to your new family.  We were so excited to share you with my parents that we kept it a surprise.  We showed up to the house and I will never forget your dad carrying you into grandma's house and her so happy and shocked she fell to the floor!  There was lots of new cuddles and meetings with your grandpa, aunt, uncle, and new friends over the next few weeks.  Everyone I think fell in love with you the day they met you.  Our new family member.

You were so smart.  Over the years you learned so many things and were always so eager to pick up on new tricks.  Such a show off!  We had lots of silly moments too.  All the squirrels we chased away and the leaf piles you would jump into so I could never rake.  Mom loved snow so much and you were always so eager to make me happy that you learned to love snow too.  But you would never let me make a snowman, you just had to destroy those big snowballs you were so sure were just for you. The day you protected me from the ghosts I will never forget and all the games we would play together especially tug of war because you always won.  All the time spent at cottages with friends and family.

You always loved our walks and especially the dog parks where you were off leash and could always lead us on new adventures or make new friends.  You loved to meet people.  When ever we walked you would always stop to get a pat and a compliment.  It was one of the things I loved most about you, the amount of trust.  I could take you any where and you would be happy and loving with everyone and every animal.  Such a sweet boy.  You had the best temperament and were such a great ambassador for the breed.  We were always able to have amazing adventures with you because of it and even though you were only here for 4 short years we did a lot as a family.

 (All our hiking adventures)

(All the dog park adventures)

 (All the dane-a-thons and being on the news one year)

 (The Woofstock weekends with best friends)

 (The Furry Friends 5k marathons with best friends)

(Road trips)

We loved you so much we even brought home a brother for you.  And what an amazing older brother you were!  You taught Ares so much and helped him feel like part of a real family.  I will forever be thankful for that.  And boy did you guys ever love each other and bond.  There wasn't a day that went by you didn't play and cuddle.  You even shared the couch you loved so much.

My life was was never the same after you came into it.  It was filled with so much love and adventures and laughs.  Thank you for choosing me to be your person, your mom.  I will miss you so much every day and my life will never be the same now that you are gone.  You were a good boy.  I love you.

There will never be another Titan.

The End

Day By Day

It has been just over a month since we first found out Titan has cancer.  A month to try and digest all the information and emotions that come with a diagnosis like this.  We go between moments of being grateful that we have more time to spend with Titan so we are able to make his last days special.  Then we have moments of great sadness because he is such an amazing dog and it just hurts so much to know he won't be in our lives for much longer.  There is anger at how unfair life is and at how we are being forced to go through this now when he is so young.  There is frustration that we are unable to stop what is happening or do anything more for him.  There is acceptance that we are doing the best we can for Titan and knowing that when the time is right we won't let him suffer.  Emotionally and physically we hurt and we are drained.  It is hard to care for a family member who is palliative but something we do out of love.  And the cycle of emotions just keeps going day by day.  To try and not get overwhelmed by all of this we are trying to take things one day at a time and keep as close to a normal schedule for Titan as possible.  Each day starts with his breakfast and medication now.  He gets 4 pills in the morning for pain management throughout the day.  This is usually followed up by a bit of time spent outside smelling around the yard, eating snow if we are lucky enough to have some, still trying to scare the squirrels away, and barking at anyone silly enough to walk on Titan's sidewalk of course.  Titan is getting around well on 3 legs as he no longer is using his sore leg at all.  He just holds it up for the most part and with our help and the harness he is able to get around no problem.  Some days when he feels like he has extra energy Titan tells us he wants to go for a walk by going towards the gate leading to the front yard.  We can't take him far as we feel it's too much for him and his heart condition and he is a lot for us to support as he still weighs a good amount.  He is able to make it around our crescent and up and down a few main streets in the neighbourhood.  He still stops to see any neighbour who is out and willing to offer some pats and he always has a tail wag for them.  That is part of what makes all this so hard, just knowing how sweet and loving this dog is with everyone and how much he loves his "fans" and that he just isn't being given long enough to enjoy all of that.
Our evenings are spent curled up and together, with Ares often right beside him.  Dinner is always something yummy like steak, beef, hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken, or pork.  Anything he could want we make sure to have on hand for him.  I think he especially looks forward to dinner time now and even barks at us if we don't cook it just right.  He is being very spoiled.  After dinner we go back out into the yard for one last sniff and to be nosey and peek at the neighbours in the hot tub.  He still likes to keep tabs on what is going on in his area.  Then it is time for bed so we give him his 3 pills for night time and let sleep take over.

(Yummy Mcdonalds for dinner one day)

(Bed time story with dad)

(Mom cuddles to get to sleep)

That has been our routine for the last month, and there hasn't been any changes for better or for worse.  I suppose that is a good thing considering.  The only time Titan whines is when he wants to go out and needs our help, he never seems to be in pain which we monitor very closely.  We keep a diary of our days to make sure we are having more good days then bad days.  We also have a pet quality of life scale to make sure he is still enjoying things.  The website I got this information from and found helped a lot is: lapoflove.com

I have to thank my family and friends for the continued support and for always lending advice and a shoulder to cry on.  I find talking about what is going on and hearing what other people have gone through and how they dealt with it helps me prepare and understand some emotions I have.  A great organization called Live Like Roo Foundation sent us a care package when they heard about Titan's story.  It was filled with toys and treats and money so we could buy him a burger and a vanilla cone to enjoy.  We were so touched by this kindness and it really helped lift everyone's spirits.  They can be found on facebook if you are interested in finding out more about them.  Another facebook site I find helps a lot is iHeartGreatDanes.  There is so many people on there going through the same situation with Danes of all different ages.  We, the owners, are able to share stories and information and knowing you aren't alone in a time like this and that so many people are supporting you makes all the difference.  So thank you everyone for making us feel so loved when we need it most.

 (Opening his gift from Live Like Roo Foundation)

(Spoiled boy!)